Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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