I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
