i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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