I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
