He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
