I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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