You're my little dorito
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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