You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
