and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
