I heard we made out
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
