you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
