The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had to cum in my sink.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize