sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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