Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
