u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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