when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
