ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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