Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
