It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
