Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
