it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
