you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
