Only a mothe r could love this liver
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
