I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
