I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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