whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
