I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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