The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
