ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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