; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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