The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize