I heard we made out
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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