I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
