My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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