so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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