1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
