the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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