first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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