They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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