Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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