Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When are your genitals available?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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