I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
