totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
