You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My ATM looks so different sober.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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