Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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