her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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