Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
