I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
