dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize