watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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