I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
