i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
