I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can I color on your dick again?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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