think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
