im drinking this country out of the recession.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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