I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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