I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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