Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
