Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e
  Replies (27) Good night (4297) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew. http://tfl.nu/fdzr
  Replies (88) Good night (5423) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online http://tfl.nu/xicc
  Replies (11) Good night (4001) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger. http://tfl.nu/jxnv
  Replies (16) Good night (3442) Bad night (3757)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone. http://tfl.nu/d9tx
  Replies (6) Good night (1609) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later. http://tfl.nu/riev
  Replies (17) Good night (1872) Bad night (2284)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls (702): Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter http://tfl.nu/jyvi
  Replies (9) Good night (4659) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am. http://tfl.nu/a8h9
  Replies (3) Good night (1917) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines. http://tfl.nu/isnh
  Replies (12) Good night (2225) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin. http://tfl.nu/r7ve
  Replies (1) Good night (1325) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (662) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions. http://tfl.nu/65l6
  Replies (1) Good night (1141) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won. http://tfl.nu/jvx1
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right? http://tfl.nu/cvur
  Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution. http://tfl.nu/nib7
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (250)

Randomize