Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
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They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.