Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

Fav 33 7545 1445
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.

Fav 29 6152 1626
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore

Fav 25 1826 7305
share tweet
(386): View more from Florida

Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.

Fav 11 1031 3451
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

Fav 35 1927 9050
share tweet
(571): View more from Virginia

What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

Fav 26 3556 1330
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.

Fav 21 3737 1244
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"

Fav 1 646 545
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.

Fav 1 215 411
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT