Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
