Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.