Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
