i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
