Whod you bang
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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