My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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